To Workout or Not to Workout? That is the Question

I have to admit, I really, REALLY did not want to do Level 1 Day 2 of Ripped In 30. After all, I did 25 sit-ups as soon as I got out of bed. Around 2pm I walked 3.40 miles. Then after dinner I took Travis out in his wheelchair and did another 1.31 miles. So at 9pm when I finally got my little man in bed, all I wanted to do was take a hot shower and enjoy some quiet time on my sofa.

But I knew that if I skipped a workout this early in the process, I would probably continue to skip workouts. Then, I thought about that bowl of vegetarian spaghetti I had for dinner and decided to push myself. Besides, the workout is only 24 minutes. I figured I could do the workout, take a shower and still have time to chill before going to bed. So that's exactly what I did. And boy oh boy, what a difference a day makes. I'm really starting to feel it.

I'm using 5 lb weights until it becomes unbearable then I switch to 3 lbs. Between the push-ups, planks, and strength training on this level, my arms and shoulders are quite soar. My lower body didn't get a break either. The squats and lunges combined with all the walking I did earlier have my legs tingling. But I understand that this is all part of the process. The fact that I am sore is a sign that my body is doing what I want it to do. Right? *crosses fingers for good luck*

I may take a rest day tomorrow and pick back up on Sunday. I am not limiting myself to a Sunday - Saturday timeframe. Whenever I have completed 5 or 6 workouts on one level, I will move on to the next. I'm just going to listen to my body and do what feels right...without becoming too much of a slacker.

As far as my food intake, it was much better today. I still find myself grazing and snacking all day, but for the most part, it was healthy.

I started my morning with a simple protein shake made with Whey protein powder that I picked up from Wal-Mart and Trader Joe's organic soy milk. 240 calories and 32 grams of protein in total.

Throughout the remainder of the day I had a nectarine, a banana, a Nature Valley Protein Bar (190 calories), 1 cup of Glory string beans with potatoes (60 calories), a bowl of home made vegetarian spaghetti (God only knows how many calories it was), and 1 pineapple spear. Here's where it becomes less healthy...in the middle of the night when Travis woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep, I raided the fridge and ate the last two slices of lemon pound cake (130 calories each, yikes!). Late night eating when my son can't sleep is another bad habit I am trying to break...

But all in all, I'm pretty happy with how my day went.

I still have some adjustments to make both to my diet and exercise routines. But my plan is make small improvements every single day.

Pray for me as I am sending prayers out to you!

Always,

Blaque

The Incredible Fluxuating Woman: The Story of My Life

There is no in between with me. Either I am focused and eating clean or I'm binging...consuming way more than any one person should in a day's time. I didn't track my food or calories yesterday but there were pop tarts, trail mix, rice, processed vegetarian food, a diet Dr. Pepper (classic, huh?) and four Nature Valley Peanut, Almond and Dark Chocolate protein bars involved...out of control much? No wonder I've gone from 141 pounds to 158.6 in less than a month. 

What I hate most about the above before and after photo is that it reminds me that as a woman with an unhealthy relationship with food, I am incredibly exposed. A person with an addiction to drugs, alcohol, porn, etc. can hide their sickness from others. But people like me who are constantly losing and gaining weight reveal a very personal and painful battle without ever speaking a word. Moreover, most recovering addicts can avoid the thing they are addicted to. But I can't rid my home of food. I need it to survive. Sadly, after 42 years I still haven't found a balance. However, I know that I will. I'm determine to get on the right track and Jillian Michaels' Ripped in 30 is my first step.

I didn't get around to starting the DVD until after 9pm last night. The only time I have available to do these workouts will be after I put my son to bed. Level 1 Day 1 went pretty good. I was sweating and exhausted afterwards, but not overly so. Ripped in 30 is a 24 minute workout that is based on a 3-2-1 interval system: 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs. Surprisingly I'm not very soar after day 1 so I'm looking forward to doing it all again tonight. So stay tuned!

Here are my weight and measurement information prior to starting week 1:

Current Weight
158.6

Goal Weight
135

Bust
37 inches

Waist
33 inches

Hips
42 inches

Forearm
12 1/2 inches

Wrist
6 1/2 inches

Thigh
24 inches

BMI
27.22

Body Fat %
42.32%

I've got some work to do. Wish me luck!

Always,

Blaque

Introduction

 

I was only 5 lbs 15 ounces when I was born. And one would think that a newborn that small would also be a small toddler and child. But no, I have had weight issues for as long as I can remember.

I remember so vividly coming inside from playing one day. I was a little girl, probably around 7 or 8 years old. I was sweaty and I was wearing clothes that were too small for my chubby body. My mother was in a mood that day as she often was. I remember her pealing me out of those clothes and calling me a goat because I was sweaty and a pig because my clothes were so tight.

I also remember a time when I wanted to take ballet lessons. My mother had taken me to the local mall to buy me some leotards and tights for dance class. I was so excited at the thought of being a ballerina! I couldn’t wait to put on a pretty pink tutu.

But when we arrived at the store and my mother told the grey haired old woman what we needed to purchase, she looked at me with a look of disgust and informed us that they didn’t carry my size in the store. She told my mother that clothes in “her size” had to be special ordered.
I found out at a very early age just how much pain words could cause.

We are now who we were then…

No matter how old I get, how much weight I lose, or how much make-up I put on my face, I will always be that hurt, chubby little girl who instead of being called pretty was constantly reminded that she was overweight.

Every journal I’ve ever kept during my teens and early 20s all focus on my issues with weight. Page after page documents my current and goal weights. I wrote about the myriad of diet plans I’d tried and given up on.

Just once I wanted to be able to wake up and live a normal day and eat normal food without having to obsess over how what I was or wasn't eating affected my weight.

Like many people I’ve tried Weight Watchers (several times), Nutrisystem, Hydroxycut, I’ve been to diet clinics and was given Phentermine and water pills. In high school I abused over the counter diet pills. Instead of taking one a day per the instructions, I took 2 to 3 pills a day and drunk only orange juice for weeks at a time. I was so lethargic and slept constantly. My family actually thought that I was pregnant when in all honesty, I was probably close to killing myself.

Ultimately in September of 2011 I had Gastric bypass surgery and have lost over 80 pounds.

But my weight still fluctuates dramatically. I am still an emotional eater. I still eat when I can’t sleep at night. And I am still not consistent with working out and living a healthy lifestyle.

We are now who we were then…I’m still damaged. I still have a lot to figure out. But I’m 42 years old and I don’t have forever.

I am going to TRY and commit for the first time in my life. I am going to try to finish ONE thing that I start. With this blog I hope to keep myself accountable, share some before and after pictures, be as honest with myself and others as possible, and rid myself of ghosts of my past…for good this time.

I’m starting with the Ripped in 30 DVD by Jillian Michaels because I’ve heard great yet frightening things about her and her DVDs. Ripped in 30 is just a starting point. My hope is that after I complete this DVD I will have developed some good habits and I can continue to stay fit and try new and healthy things to help me along this journey. I'm ready, are you?

Let’s get ripped!

 

 

Blaque