5 Day Eating Clean/No Processed Food Challenge

So I tried this earlier in the month but it was during a very inopportune time. I'm going to challenge myself again to eat clean for the next 5 days.

"Eat clean"...what exactly does that mean? In a nutshell it means that you eat only whole foods...Foods that are as close to their natural state as you can get them. If something didn't grow that way, it's probably not a whole food. For me this means that I can enjoy fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains but nothing pre-packaged...Protein bars, Protein Shakes, Morningstar farms products.

Yikes! 

Although I think that I eat pretty healthy most of the time, my weight loss has stalled so it's time for me to kick it up a notch. Most of the processed food that I eat is consumed out of convenience. I don't THINK that what I eat is extremely unhealthy. But I'm not a Nutritionist so what do I know?

If you've been reading, I haven't been posting my food as religiously as I did a few weeks ago. So I am going to start tracking my meals again, take more photos and share my clean eating intake. What I'm not going to do is count calories. I'm going to trust that if I eat clean and get my compulsive grazing under control, the weight will start to come off again. It's only 5 days, so it shouldn't be too painful? Right? We'll see.

Yesterday was a Manic Monday in every way. I didn't have time to take walks on my 15 minute breaks nor did I have time to do anything on my lunch break. It was one "urgent" email after the next. By the end of the day I was so ready to change into my workout clothes and get the heck out of the office!

Being out in the fresh air and getting a run in is one of the best ways to relieve stress...at least for me. Not only did it center me, but it gave me time to be alone with my thoughts and reflect. Everything about yesterday’s run felt different. There was a chill in the air that I normally don't like because it symbolizes the change in season. I didn’t mind it so much yesterday, however. I just took everything in and really appreciated the blueness of the sky and how green the trees were...everything looked more beautiful. I started thinking about the possibility of being diagnosed with an illness that I’ll have to fight and I realized that one day, I may not be able to run. That motivated me to push myself and keep going even after I got tired. I didn’t even use my C25K app, I just ran and left everything I had on the trail. I’m no Lo Lo Jones, but I can’t remember the last time I jogged 2 ½ miles without stopping.

It felt great. Even though it took me over half an hour, it was a huge accomplishment.

I’ve been thinking a lot about life and death and my own mortality lately. It’s not just about going for a run and appreciating the beauty that God made. I’ve also been very present with my family. I’ve been making a conscious effort not to argue with my mother. I’ve been enjoying every single second that I have with Travis…even when he woke up in the middle of my night time work out. I just turned off the DVD and stayed with him even after he fell asleep. As I sat there with him, I realized that I AM dying. We all are. From the moment we are born we are all waiting for God to call us back home. My grandmother lived until she was in her 80’s. My first born son only lived an hour after his birth. Both of their lives had meaning. We are all put here for a purpose. And regardless of whether we are given a diagnosis that comes with an expiration date or we are just going about our lives and something tragic happens, it will eventually be our time to leave what we think of as our home. It is my hope however, that we all try to live in the moment and appreciate everything that this temporary yet wonderful world has to offer. We should use tragedies to help us appreciate miracles. We should embrace the cold and darkness of the winter because with it is the promise of the warmth and newness of springtime.  I sat up for hours last night wondering…what if I returned to the doctor in December and found out that I am the picture of health? What if this scare was God’s way of getting my attention and drawing me closer to Him?

My prayer for everyone who may be reading this is that you live in the moment. Appreciate every aspect of your life, the good and the bad. Take time today to go outside, breath in fresh air, and marvel at the beauty that your Higher Power has created.

Make today your best day ever! And do at least one today thing that will improve your health.

Thanks for reading and may God bless you and keep you!

Always,

Blaque

Get Back in the Game

Get Back in the Game

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you." - Isaiah 60:1 NIV

Are you going through a tough time today? Are you sitting on the sidelines of life? God is saying, “Arise and get back in the game.” If a friend betrayed you, don’t go through life lonely. Go out and find some new friends. The right people are in your future. If you lost your job, don’t sit around complaining. Go out and find another job. When one door closes, God will always open another door. If you’re facing a health issue, fighting that sickness, don’t give up on life and start planning your funeral. Arise from that discouragement!

The above is from an email I received this morning. Sometimes, we are given just the right word at just the right time!

I spent the entire weekend worrying about an illness I don’t even know if I have and trying to cope with feelings of frustration due to my weight loss slowing down, that I didn’t even realize that I’ve mentally checked out. I am not fighting nearly as hard as I should be fighting. It's time for me to arise from my self-inflicted discouragement and get back into the game!

Living in the moment is hard sometimes. It’s much easier to be past obsessed or to fixate on what the future may hold. But I need to focus on the here and now. We all do. The truth is, I have come a long way. I should be ecstatic about the weight that I have lost thus far. I've gone from 240 pounds to somewhere around 143...and for that I am proud! As far as my future...I know that God's got me. Anything that may or may not happen is a part of His plan. All I can do is trust Him!

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, my focus now is on my health; physical, mental and spiritual. Everything else, I will allow to take care of itself. 

The only exercising I did yesterday was a walk with Travis. It took me over 40 minutes to walk 2 miles, but that little boy and his wheelchair are soooo heavy! I literally felt like I was flipping tires in a Strongman Competition or something. But we made it. The weather was perfect for a nice stroll with my favorite guy so I wasn't in a rush anyway!

I've decided that I am going to take a break from Ripped In 30. In no way am I giving up on it, though. I am just holding off for a while because I don't feel as though I'm getting the full benefits of Week 3. The reality is, I can't do the moves just yet. So for the next few weeks I am going to do The 500 Calorie Workout by The Firm. 

I've done this workout a few times before. It is also very challenging, but the moves aren't nearly as difficult. I promised myself that I was going to complete Ripped In 30, and I plan on keeping that promise. I just have to get to a place where I can give 100% to all the moves. I can't expect to get "ripped" if my form is off and I'm only completing half of the repititions. In life, sometimes we have to adjust...

So while doing The 500 Calorie Workout, I will do a weigh-in each Sunday to see how I am progressing. Again, health is my main focus, but I would still like to reach my goal of 135 pounds...but no pressure!

Wish me luck!

God bless,

Blaque

Elevated B12

As if I didn't have enough to worry about...I received a call from my doctor's office regarding some lab work I recently had done. I was told that my B12 levels are high...very high. This is odd to me because I was taking B12 supplements, but like everything else in my life, I wasn't consistent. I did a Google search on elevated B12 levels and I really wish I hadn't. This could be a sign of a number of very serious medical conditions. Or maybe it's nothing, I don't know. In any event, I have to get my blood work re-checked but not until December. Three months is a long time to wait, but what are my options?

I have to believe that regardless of the outcome, there is a purpose for all of this. Right now, I am going to focus more on eating healthy and clean rather than whatever number happens to be on the scale on any given day. At this moment my weight is the least of my worries. Being as healthy as I can be is paramount right now.

For lunch I made a very quick and healthy vegetable stir-fry with steamed rice. It was delicious.

I bought the vegetables pre-packaged from Trader Joe's. I sautéed them in a little olive oil, light soy sauce, salt, pepper and Smart Balance. Simple and tasty...just the way I like my food!

The rest of the day I tried to keep myself busy. Housework, housework, housework and lots of snuggling with my favorite guy.

I plan on doing a lot of this during these next three months. I'm convinced that my son's cuddles have medicinal powers. He makes everything better!

After I put Travis to bed, I reluctantly did Week 3 Day 2 of Ripped In 30. I was distracted and really didn't want to work out. Besides, this level is super hard and I just don't think I'm in good enough shape to give it 100%. I know that sounds rather defeatist, but rest assured I have no intentions of giving up. I just wish I could do the moves better and keep up with the number of repetitions. I really feel my age while doing Week 3. And the last thing I need right now is to be reminded of my age.

Where did all the years go?

Anyway, thanks for reading and allowing me to purge. Promise me that you will do at least one thing after reading this that will improve your health. It's all important!

Grace and peace,

Blaque

Finally, Week 3 of Ripped In 30

After a few days off from working out, I finally completed Week 3 Day 1 of Ripped In 30...oh the horror!

I have to admit, I really struggled with Level 3. I lost a lot of momentum after not working out in several days. Travis' nurse had personal issues this week and my workout routine was completely thrown off. I honestly felt as though I was back at Week 1 Day 1.

The first circuit was Quad Hell. Bear crawls, duck walks, and squats...oh my! My legs and abs are sore and I know I didn't even do most of the moves properly. Level 3 is definitely a challenge. But like the other two levels, it will get better...I hope! I didn't even do the cool down. By the end of the circuit 3 I was laying in the middle of the floor sweating profusely and bargaining with Jesus...Lord, if you just help me to get in shape, I'll never abuse food or my body again!

Somehow, I doubt He bought it!

Despite the fact that I didn't do the cool down, I still added a dollar to my workout jar. I completed the hard parts. That counts, right?

CHA-CHING!

 

As worn out and sore as I am, I'm happy to be back on track and excited to continue with Week 3. I can't wait to see the results at the end of this difficult level.

Wish me luck, I'll need it.

Always,

Blaque

Being A Vegan

11 years ago, I became a vegetarian for a very specific reason: I did not want to be a part of the inhumane treatment of animals.

I didn’t do it for my health. I wasn’t trying to lose weight. I just couldn’t with a clear conscious eat meat or seafood after learning  and becoming aware of how animals are treated and killed for human consumption.

My rationalization for continuing to eat dairy and other animal bi-products was that an animal didn’t have to be killed for their milk. But still, over the years taking that step from vegetarian to vegan was always something I wanted to do for many reasons. Besides, dairy products, I FEEL, is just not good for the human body. 

But more than that, it's an issue of compassion. Here are a few facts about animal welfare:

~ Over 10 billion land animals and 53 billion sea animals are killed every year in the U.S. alone.

~ Over 200 million male chick offspring are killed annually shortly after birth, because they can't lay eggs and are not considered the right genetic breeding for consumption. They are usually ground up alive or suffocated in plastic bags or foam.

~ Dairy cows are forcibly impregnated to produce milk non-stop for about 5 years. Then they're slaughtered. Their offspring are taken away from them usually within 48 hours. The males are used for veal and the females become dairy cows.

~ Free-range" means absolutely nothing. Birds and their eggs are considered free-range, if they have U.S. Department of Agriculture certified access to the outdoors. This certification doesn’t include size of or ability to access the outdoor area, amount of space allotted per animal, quality of life, or the number of birds living in a single shed.

I realize that many people have conditioned themselves into believing that this is just the natural order of things and that killing animals is a necessary evil. I don’t think it has to be that way, but then again, I’ve always had a heart that felt too big for me sometimes.

I’m about 2 weeks in to being a strict or strict-as-I-can-be Vegan.

The questions I get asked most involve protein and the difficulty of this type of lifestyle.

The past two weeks have not been difficult for me at all. I eat the foods that I enjoy and a lot of them just happen to contain protein. The average woman only needs about 46 grams of protein a day. I often drink protein shakes made with soy milk, but an awful lot of the food I eat contain protein as well such as beans, tofu, veggie burgers, broccoli almonds, almond butter, black-eyed peas, spinach,  whole what breads, etc.

Being a vegan is not about deprivation. It’s about making conscious choices and eating what you love versus forcing yourself to eat what you hate.

For example, I tried quinoa for the first this week because it’s packed with protein. However, I hated it. It was grainy and reminded me of oatmeal…and I HATE oatmeal. So I’ll never eat quinoa again.

For breakfast yesterday I had all of my favorite things: A whole wheat English muffin, 2 slices of veggie bacon, 1/4 cup of potatoes, and some fruit. Very filling!

I also made a citrus smoothie to take to work. It's called a Fat Burner & Cellulite Buster...and man oh man does my cellulite needs busting! It's made with grapefruits, lemons, oranges, and 1 tbsp of turmeric. It was delicious and had the consistency of apple sauce. Outside of the peeling, it was super easy and it gave me a great morning boost!

For lunch I had a salad from Subway, jam packed with foods that I love. Lettuce, tomatoes, spinach, green peppers, olives, banana peppers, red onions...yum!

As you can see, I'm not starving and I'm getting my protein requirements. I will admit, that this lifestyle is not for everyone. But the more fresh fruits and vegetables a person can get into their diet, the better. 

Thanks for reading!

Always,

Blaque

Letting Go

There is a phrase that goes: "Quod me nutrit me destruit." 

Translation: "What nourishes me destroys me."  Meaning, that which motivates or drives a person can consume him or her from within.

This is an absolute truth when dealing with food addiction, but it’s also an important life lesson. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do in life is to let go of something that makes  us feel good in the short term. We get so consumed by instant gratification that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Holding on to something we think we need or want or love is easy. Being an adult and letting go for our own good and for the good of others…that takes courage and maturity.

If there is something that is consuming your time or energy or compromising your peace of mind…LET IT GO!

Life is short and precious. None of us are promised a next breath.  We shouldn’t allow anything…food, addiction, a person, a relationship that’s run its course, etc to destroy us from within. Don’t let what nourishes you, destroy you. Allow those things that truly nourish you, to exalt you. To strengthen you. To free you!

Thanks for reading today!

Always,

Blaque

p.s. My workout jar is still empty. More on that later!

Seasonal Blues

I feel you slipping away from me. Please don’t go! When I was younger, my family tried to keep us apart. But now, I embrace you. You’re so hot and I love the way you make me feel. Thanks for the awesome tan you gave me this summer, Mr. Sun. Let’s do it again next year, OK? Hurry back!

XOXO

Yolanda


Fall is definitely in the air. The weather is getting cooler and with that comes the promise of greyer days.

Already I feel myself coming down with a case of the Seasonal Blues. I love summer days, blue skies, and the warmth from the sun. When I was a child, there was a story in my family about me being "allergic" to the sun. That wasn't true of course. I have abnormal pigmentation on my right leg, thigh and buttock. Because of the loss of pigment, those areas could potentially burn very easily. Somehow that got translated into me being allergic to the sun, so I spent the better part of my childhood hiding out in the shade with a vampire-like complexion. It wasn't good.

As an adult, I love live for sunshine. I can't get enough of it. When I'm walking or jogging I enjoy taking in the scenery and marveling at the beauty that God made.

But as the winter months get closer my mood begins to worsen. Last winter I hibernated and gained almost 30 pounds. Not this year! I won't allow it.

Although it was a little chilly yesterday, I willed myself into jogging/walking 5 miles and it actually felt great! When I went through Boot Camp it was during the coldest months of the year: January and February. Cold weather certainly wasn't an excuse to stop training back then. So this winter I am going to TRY and stay active outdoors even in the colder climate (as long as it's not brutally so).

I've been having problems getting started with Level 3 of Ripped In 30. I've lost my motivation and I've been so focused on my runs that I haven't really been pushing myself with my night time workouts. Plus, these workout are getting tougher and in classic Yolanda Harris form, when things get tougher I bail!
This must stop!

I saw an idea on the internet that I thought I would try out on myself. Every time I complete a DVD at night, whether it's Ripped In 30 or some other workout DVD, I will put one dollar in my workout jar. Some people stop at $100, but that would require me to go into the jar and count to see how much money is in it. I don't want to be tempted to "borrow" from what's supposed to motivation. So on December 18th, I will see how much is in the jar and treat myself to something nice!

Tell me, what do you do to stay motivated?  I'd love to know.

Take care and thanks for reading!

Always,

Blaque

Completed Level 2, Time To Weigh In

I finished Level 2 Day 6 of Ripped in 30. The fact that I managed to lose anything is a gift being that I'm smack dab in the middle of the hormonal poool most women take a dip in every 28 days. So I will take this .8 pound weight loss and be happy! Besides, I've lost almost 15 pounds since starting this DVD so I think I'm doing pretty good.

Anyway, here are the results:

Previous Weight       Current Weight
144.6                        143.8

Goal Weight
135

Starting Bust            Current Bust
36 inches                  36 inches

Starting Waist         Current Waist
30 inches                 29 inches

Starting Hips           Current Hips
40 inches                 40 inches

Starting Forearm     Current Forearm
12 1/2 inches           12 inches

Starting Wrist         Current Wrist
6 inches                   6 inches

Starting Thigh        Current Thigh
23 inches                22 1/2 inches

Starting BMI       Current BMI
24.82                    24.68

Starting Body Fat %    Current Body Fat %
39.44%                           39.28%

I've been in Triple-C mode for the last few days: Cranky, Cramping, and Cravings. So I took a break from the blog, working out, and pretty much everything that didn't involve laying in bed eating Peanut, Almond & Dark Chocolate Nature Valley Protein bars. But after completing Level 2 of Ripped, I've noticed slightly more definition in my arms and shoulders. My abs and lower body still need a lot of work, so I'm hoping to see a difference in those areas after Level 3. *crosses fingers for luck*

Being that I am having a few female "issues" right now, I didn't make it 3 days without processed food. Yesterday was a little better however. I only had one protein bar, 5 clementines, a rice cake with almond butter, a pink grapefruit, a handfull of grapes, and for dinner a veggie burger with an ear of corn.

It was a Morningstar Farms spicy black bean burger with lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, pickles, veggie cheese and spicy brown mustard on a whole wheat bun. I probably could have done without the carbs, but man oh man was it tasty!

As far exercise, I still haven't managed to start Level 3 of Ripped. But I did walk 2.39 miles with Travis. Pushing a 90 pound child in a wheelchair for 2 miles is workout enough, trust me.

Before I went to bed, I also did a 15 minute workout DVD. It's called Personal Training with Jackie: Crunch-Free Xtreme Abs. This was a really good workout. It was short, but challenging. I might even add it to the end of my Ripped workout being that my core needs so much work...but we'll see what Level 3 brings before I commit to that.

Well, a new week is upon us. I don't know about you, but I'm closing the door to everything I may have done wrong with my diet and fitness routines and opening a window of new goals and opportunities. We've all been given another chance to do a little better than we did before. Let's take it!

Thanks for reading.

Always,

Blaque

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me

Everytime I go out for a walk or jog, I ask God to watch over me and keep me safe. And other times, like on yesterday's run, I have to recite Philippians 4:13 in my head to make it to the end. Yesterday's run was the most difficult so far. It was a 5 minute warm up walk followed by a 20 minute run. By the 20th minute, I'm sure it looked more like a crawl, but I was able to do it without stopping and I truly believe it's because I asked my higher power for strength. After the setbacks I've had with over eating and not losing much weight, I needed that little victory. Thank you, Jesus!

.

Level 2 Day 6 of Ripped In 30 went really well. The workout seemed to go by faster and was much less painful. I'm trying to decide if I will do a 7th day or take a rest day then move on to Level 3. I'm leaning towards one more workout day because I know I haven't lost that much weight (if any) this week. I could use another workout before my weigh in, But I will see how I feel about it tomorrow.

My diet yesterday was on point. I stuck to my no processed food goal. It went something like this:

1/2 cup field peas (yes, for breakfast) 110 calories

1 protein shake 240 calories

1 apple 95 calories

1 cup string beans 70 calories

1 nectarine 62 calories

muscle milk 170 calories

2 mini corn on the cob 180 calories

1 cup string beans 70 calories

Total for the day 997 Sweet!

At some point this weekend my weigh in and new pictures are coming. So stay tuned!

As always, thanks for reading.

Enjoy today,

Blaque

Improvements

I had the day off from work yesterday because Travis had an appointment with his orthopedic specialist. My plan was to take him to his appointment, come home and relax, grab a bite to eat  and then hit the 5 mile trail. But due to circumstances beyond my control,  I never made it back out of the house. This is why I prefer to run or workout on my lunch breaks. Once I get home, finding time to workout becomes increasingly difficult. So Level 2 Day 5 of Ripped In 30 was my only exercise yesterday.

And you know, I’ve been so preoccupied with not being able to do the plank jacks and mountain climbers the way that I want to do them, that I almost didn’t notice the things that have gotten easier. When I started with day 1 of this level, I couldn’t do the side lunges with a leg raise without getting a cramp. But now, I can do them with no trouble at all. Also, my balance has gotten so much better. I don’t wobble nearly as much. I’m making improvements. I still may not be able to do all of the moves, but I’m better and stronger now than I was when I started Level 2. That’s encouraging.

I tend to always eat more when I am at home. Maybe because there are more stress triggers there. I didn’t bother tracking my food. I think I ate relatively healthy food, it’s just that there was a lot a whole lot of it. 

I ate lots of fruit, a whole wheat English muffin with a little Smart Balance Light spread, veggie bacon, rice cakes with almond butter, a protein shake, an ear of corn, and for dinner I had ½ cup of yellow rice and some sautéed mushrooms.

These mushrooms were so flavorful if I do say so myself. I sautéed them in a little EVOO, garlic, salt, pepper and a little Emeril's Essence spice. I know that a lot of people are not big fans of mushrooms but I highly recommend them. They are great meat substitute because of their texture and they actually have a lot of health benefits.

I remember being a kid growing up on what I joking call a BAD diet (Black American Diet).

I remember eating lots of fried chicken, maybe some pork chops, white rice, canned vegetables, lots of white bread, noodles, and tons of Kool-Aid. Don’t get me wrong, my mother, like many others, did the best she could when it came to putting food on the table. But I don’t think in those days much that was given to nutrition. So a lot of adults my age are just use to eating things that we grew up on. But now, we have so many luxuries that our parents didn’t have. Healthy and affordable recipes are at our disposal via the internet. We don’t have to have a degree in Nutrition to know whether or not the food we eat is healthy.

As a matter of fact, I am setting a mini-goal for myself:

For the next three days I am not eating any processed food no matter how healthy I think it is. Nothing out of a box, not even rice cakes or peanut butter or almond butter. Wait…that means no protein bars or Morningstar Farms products…YIKES!

But my eating habits have been out of order lately so from now through Sunday, if I can’t eat it in the form that it grew, it’s not going in my mouth.

Do you have any diet or fitness goals? Tell me about them.

Thanks for reading.

Always,

Blaque

Level 2 Day 4 of Ripped In 30 - The Remix



OK, so I had a moment the other night. I was so freaked out because of I gained .4 of a pound. I know, I know...pretty pathetic. But I have been feeling stronger and my endurance has increased especially during my runs. Those are the things I will try to focus on going forward as opposed to the number on the scale.

While I was at work, I walked .81 miles on my first 15 minute break (it actually took 16:33 minutes. Don't tell my manager) and on my second break I walked 1.04 miles. After work, I did Week 5 Day 2 of C25K. Todays workout started with a 5 minute warm up followed by two 8 minute runs separated with a 5 minute walk. These runs are definitely getting harder but I was able to complete it without stopping. 

Then Travis gave me the best gift ever. He fell asleep at 8pm so I was able to start Level 2 Day 4 of Ripped In 30 before 9 o'clock. Yes! I am still struggling with the plank jacks, mountain climbers and crow push ups. In fact, instead of doing crow push ups I do regular push ups. And I have to stop and rest my arms during the plank jacks and mountain climbers. The rest of the workout is challenging but doable. I've decided to extend this level until I've done at least 7 days. I really want to do the moves I just described without stopping.

I've tried to increase my water intake. I had a total of 104 ounces...I was shooting for a gallon. I haven't been tracking my food lately because I felt I was eating pretty healthy. But I think I will start again just to make sure I am not eating more calories than I should.

I'm 10 pounds away from my goal weight. I'm 5 pounds away from a total weight loss of 100 pounds. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. Time to turn it up!

Thanks for reading.

Always,

Blaque

I Quit!

Last night while doing Level 2 Day 4 of Ripped In 30, I totally checked out.

I felt as though I had been having awesome workouts over the last few days so before I started day 4 of Ripped. I decided to step on the scale to see how much weight I had lost. BIG MISTAKE! I thought, surely I must have dropped 2 to 3 pounds. Heck, a few hours earlier I was outside run/walking 2.19 miles through my apartment complex. The day before I did over 3 miles on my lunch break. I stopped at the local mall on my way to work yesterday and walked for 30 minutes while all the stores were still closed. I even climbed 5 flights of stairs at my job several times just to get away from my desk and get a few extra steps in. And I hadn't eaten anything that would be considered "off my diet". So imagine my surprise when I got on the scale and discovered that I had gained a pound. I couldn't believe it. I gained a freakin pound!

You have to give me credit for trying though. I started the workout anyway because I wanted to press on. But my head wasn't in it.

I couldn't get the number I saw on the scale out of my mind. 145...unbelievable!

So I did what any self-respecting compulsive eater would do. I stopped working out, made myself a big bowl of homemade pico de gallo, and threw myself a pity party.

If I'm going to gain a pound, I'm going to gain it for a reason. And hey, at least it wasn't ice cream and cake, right? Mine was the healthiest pity party in the history of pity parties.

I am going to try to reconcile these feelings of frustration, disappointment and defeat and get back on track tomorrow. Coincidentally, the first time I attempted this DVD, I became unglued on Level 2 and never even made it to Level 3. I really don't want that to happen again.

Any words of encouragement, motivation, or maybe just a swift kick in the derriere would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Always,

Blaque

Hiding Inside My Fat Girl Sweater

“Hey Skinny Minnie!”

“Wow, your face is so thin!”

“Yolanda, you’re wasting away to nothing!”

Someone, please make it stop! First of all I AM NOT SKINNY nor am I wasting away to nothing. Hardly! Skinny is a body type I will never find myself in. That’s not self-deprecation, that’s an honest assessment of my body. When I came home from Boot Camp at the age of 21 years old, I was 125 pounds but I was not skinny. I always have been and always will be a thick person and I don’t have a problem with that. But these weight loss comments/compliments are over-whelming and pressure educing. Every time my mother looks at me she says I need to eat more and that my face is too thin. People at work all want me to give them some magic secret they believe I have for weight loss. I’ve started keeping this big, bulky fashion disaster of a sweater with me so that I can wear it as camouflage whenever I leave my desk. 

I really wish I could take a 2 to 3 month vacation (paid vacation, that is), finish losing this weight in private, then come back as if nothing had happened. It’s hard. Having body image issues is hard. And I'm an introvert by nature. Having all of this unwanted attention regarding my weight loss and body is quite uncomfortable. But I can’t let all these crazy emotions derail me from my destination. 135…I won’t stop until I reach 135 pounds!

Yesterday's run felt really good. I did Week 5 Day 1 of C25K and for the first time since I've been using this app, I got lost in the run. I was actually enjoying the feeling of running instead of praying that the interval would soon be over. Today's workout started with a 5 minute warm up followed by 5 minutes of running and 3 minutes of walking. It repeated three times before ending with a 5 minute cool down. I felt great. I felt strong. I did a total of 2.30 miles, plus I walked another mile back to my vehicle. Yay me!

Last night after I put Travis to bed, I did Level 2 Day 3 of Ripped In 30. Again, it’s getting a little better but I’m not even close to keeping up with the women on the video. I try to focus on technique as opposed to doing as many reps…hopefully by the end of this level I will be able to do both.

I’ve really been enjoying my workouts lately. The comments from others about my weight loss? Not so much!

Tell me, do you get rattled by comments about your weight and/or weight loss? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Thanks for reading.


Always,


Blaque

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