Blaque Is Getting Ripped: More Than A Weight Loss Blog: The 43rd Anniversary of my Birth

Would you look at that face...at 21 I had flawless skin, bedroom eyes, and a body that didn't make me cringe every time I walked past a mirror. Today is my born day, and yes it's a blessing. But I was up all last night thinking about my weight loss journey and how it relates to me getting older.

In my head, I allowed myself to believe that losing weight would magically turn me back into my 20-something year old self. But even after losing over 90 pounds, I have to accept the fact that I'm 43 years old and that I look like a 43 year old woman. 140 pounds looks vastly different on my current body than it did on my younger body and there is just no way around that.

And what's even harder to accept is that I won't look like this 43 year old version of myself forever. The wrinkles will continue to appear and the grey hair will continue to take over my redish-brown locs. No amount of weight loss or healthy eating is going to change that. If God says so, I'm gonna get older, and older, and older.

I've been so consumed with losing weight over the last few years that I didn't give much thought to getting old. But I suddenly feel my age swallowing me like a random sinkhole swallows a beautiful home...completely and forever.

So now that my weight is somewhat normal, I have to seriously focus on my inner self as much as I have been working on my outer shell. Not only had I convinced myself that losing weight would restore my youth, but I believed that it would bring me a different level of happiness and that some god-like hero would knock on my door one day and sweep me off my feet as if life as a thinner woman would transport me smack dab in the middle of an irrational, illogical plot of a cheesy romance novel. Needless to say, none of that happened.

I realize now that it's time for ME to do more of what makes ME happy. I've decided to make this The Season of Me. My 43rd year of life is going to be my most selfish, me-centered year ever. I can't get the last 20 years back, but I can make the rest of my days the best of my days.

Whether it's your birthday today or not, my prayer is that you will do the same!