Going Cold Turkey

 

I HATE gaining weight and I HATE making stupid decisions.

 

I eat healthy most of the time, but when I don’t, I pretend as if my poor choices won’t have an effect on my body.

 

For a long period of time, I stopped going to Starbucks.  One day however, I went for my mother, decided to buy a drink for myself, then got an upset stomach from all the sugar in my drink. I told myself that I would NEVER go back…but I did and eventually built up a tolerance to the sugar.

 

In time, I stopped making my daily Starbucks run and lost a little weight. But as the weather changed, I got the brilliant idea of substituting my high calorie sugary drinks for their sugar-free alternatives. I convinced myself that an occasional sugar-free latte on a cold winter’s morning wouldn’t kill me. But like any addict, it started with sugar-free lattes then I slowly worked my way back up to the hard core Caramel Macchiatos and my latest obsession, Carmel Flan Lattes.

 

And my Nature Valley Protein Bars? I suffer from insomnia. And every time I wake up during the night I go to the kitchen and eat one. Sure, they are healthier than candy or chips, but I purchased a box yesterday and this morning the box is EMPTY. Gremlins? Nope, moi! I’m so disappointed in myself! 190 calories times 5 bars…clearly I’ve gone mad!

 

I’m stronger than this. So I am going cold-turkey. No more trips to Starbucks and absolutely no more protein bars. These two things are wreaking havoc on my diet.

I think back to when I was preparing for Weight Loss Surgery. I had several meetings with a Nutritionist. I had to decide which WLS procedure I was going to have: Gastric Banding, Sleeve Gastrectomy, or Gastric Bypass Surgery. Because, I was a big sweets eater (more so than I am now if you can believe that) the Nutritionist suggested Gastric Bypass Surgery because with this option, I would “supposedly” be unable to eat anything with a high amount of sugar. Doing so would trigger what’s called Dumping Syndrome. I won’t bore you with the details of dumping…Google it, if you’re feeling inquisitive.  

Anyway, the thought of NEVER having anything sweet again sent chills down my spine. I’m not even kidding, I had just eaten an entire pint of Butter Pecan Häagen-Dazs for dinner the night before (not making this up, I actually had ice cream for dinner) and the thought of never having it again petrified me. It was all I could do not to get up and run haul ass out of her office. That’s how hooked I was on the stuff. But now, more than two years later, I couldn’t tell you the last time I had it or even thought about it. For the record, I am one of the few people who CAN eat sweets and not experience dumping. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I can honestly say, even though I CAN eat ice cream, I don’t. I don’t crave even crave it anymore. And if I can rid myself of the all mighty Häagen-Dazs , I can rid myself of Starbucks and protein bars too.

If I could eat and drink these things in moderation I would. But I know that I can’t. Not right now. So until I reach my goal AND have maintained 135 pounds for a few months…those things don’t exist to me.

I am so ready to make the shift and get back on the right track. Wish me luck!

As always, thanks for reading.

Blaque

Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.
 ~ 3 John 1:2 ~