I Should Have Never Gotten Out Of Bed!

Yesterday was just one of those days. Let's take it from the top, shall we?

6:30 am

When I took Travis to his school bus, his bus driver looked at me and said “Good morning Skinny Minnie!”…I literally had to stop myself from screaming! "Breathe!" I told myself. I realize that she was only trying to be nice and perhaps give me a compliment...but I AM NOT SKINNY! Actually, I got on the scale yesterday and found that I have gained weight. This fluctuating body of mine...SMH. I would much rather a person tell me that I am doing a good job or ask me what my fitness regimen is...anything except make specific and nonsensical comments about my body. I've written it before and I will write it again; words like "skinny" and "wasting away to nothing" annoy me. They feel invasive and also feel like smoke being blown up my ass! I'm not skinny! I never will be and I don't want to be. Yes, I've lost weight, a lot of it. But people need to stop being ridiculous with their non-compliments! Think before you speak, geesh!

 

11:30 am

I tried to do a run during my lunch break...emphasis on the word "tried". Eight minutes into it I felt my armband slipping so I attempted to tighten it. Well, instead, I ripped it and my cell phone fell to the ground. Now, my armband is unusable, my cell phone is cracked, and I was absolutely disgusted!I turned around and walked back to my job, kicking rocks the entire way! Aargh!!!

 

3:00 pm

From 2pm to 3pm I had a meeting in another building on campus. When I returned to my desk I saw that I had 9 missed calls and a ton of voice mails...never a good sign. The very first voice mail was a frantic message from my mother...no one showed up to get Travis off the school bus. What a surprise...no nurse...AGAIN! I was livid! So I ran to my car like a wild banshee because my 78 year old mother can't do anything with my 90 pound child. Not lift him out of his wheelchair, not take off his school clothes, not change his diaper...NOTHING. Thank goodness I didn't get pulled over by the police. I was doing every bit of 65 in a 45 the entire way home. If this keeps up, I am going to have to change Home Health Agencies, not that the next will be any better. These young ladies that are hired as personal care aids clearly do not want to work. Seriously, I need to write my Congressman. Caring for the elderly and disabled is one of the most important jobs a person can have. Paying some kid with no college degree minimum wage to come into a person's home unsupervised is a recipe for disaster. Trust me, I know. The stories I could tell...

 

In other news...my second day without any processed food went OK for most of the day. I brought with me to work: a pear, bananas, the grapes I didn't eat the day before, black beans with corn, jalapeno and rocotillo chile peppers (talk about yummy), and a salad I picked up from Trader Joe's. I had every intention of doing the right thing.

I polished off the black beans and corn before 9am. Weird breakfast choice, huh? I couldn't help it though. It smelled so good and tasted even better. I sauteed the peppers in a little olive oil. Then I added one can of black beans and one can of corn. I sprinkled a little south western seasoning over it and also added a spoonful of Smart Balance. It was absolutely delicious.

I snacked on a few grapes and blueberries then had the salad before going out for my ill fated run.

All bets were off however once the craziness started to ensue. After I got home, I got Travis settled then called the agency to find out what the heck was going on. Bottom line: they are sending out yet another aid tomorrow! At that point, I was on the highest level of pisstivity...off the charts pissed actually. So I did something that I now regret...I ordered a pizza. That's right, a non-vegan, uber fattening pizza! I really should not have done that! Lucky for me a friend stopped by and I was able to unload half off it on him.

Tomorrow, as I always say is another day. If God says so, I'll have another chance to do better!

I hope your day went better than mine. Tell me about it. Good, bad or ugly, I'm all ears...well, eyes!

Always,

Blaque

Day 1 Of My Eating Clean Challenge

I couldn't think of a better way to kick off my Eating Clean Challenge than with a Green Smoothie. I made this one with spinach, bananas, strawberries and mangos.

I also took some of my favorite "clean" things with me to work. A medley of grapes with blueberries, marinated cucumbers and red onions, and string beans with potatoes.

I sipped on the smoothie for most of the morning. Around 10am I ate the cucumbers and by 10:30 I was freaking starving...or at least I thought I was. I couldn't decide if I was actually hungry or if my brain just WANTED something more substantial. Thankfully I was on a conference call until noon and couldn't surrender to my desire for more food. After I was finished with my call, I had my string beans for lunch. But then, things went a little left...

I received a call from my mother. Neither she nor the nurse that was filling in yesterday could get Travis out of his wheelchair *scratches head* . So I had to leave work to go see what was going wrong. The nurse that was filling in yesterday was completely worthless. I asked if she could get Travis in bed, she didn't think that she could. Travis had a b.m. and she didn't know how to clean him up. Then everytime I checked on them she had her back turned to him and was watching TV. Oh boy...

I ended up eating 3 pieces of Morningstar Farms buffalo wings and some left over string beans. It was definately a stress reaction to the "nurse"...and I use that term loosely...that was sent to care for Travis. 

But I regrouped. Once I made sure Travis was OK, I went to the fountain at beautiful City Center and ran/walked 3 miles. 

I grabbed a salad from Salad Creations on the way home. Man, how I love their Spicy Veggie salad!

I came home, saw that the nurse was still glued to the TV screen, and asked her to leave. I was mentally and physically drained and wasn't going to deal with her NOT taking care of Travis any longer. 

By 7:30 pm, Travis and I were both bathed, fed, and in bed. I took the medicine my doctor gave me for insomnia and was out like a light by 8 o'clock. I really needed a good sleep and I got one. If I took my medicine more often, I wouldn't be up at night snacking because it really knocks me out.

All in all, my first day of eating clean went pretty well. One day down...four more to go!

Thanks for reading and member, your health is a great blessing from God. May you have abundant energy, vitality and well-being all the days of your life! 

Always, 

Blaque

5 Day Eating Clean/No Processed Food Challenge

So I tried this earlier in the month but it was during a very inopportune time. I'm going to challenge myself again to eat clean for the next 5 days.

"Eat clean"...what exactly does that mean? In a nutshell it means that you eat only whole foods...Foods that are as close to their natural state as you can get them. If something didn't grow that way, it's probably not a whole food. For me this means that I can enjoy fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains but nothing pre-packaged...Protein bars, Protein Shakes, Morningstar farms products.

Yikes! 

Although I think that I eat pretty healthy most of the time, my weight loss has stalled so it's time for me to kick it up a notch. Most of the processed food that I eat is consumed out of convenience. I don't THINK that what I eat is extremely unhealthy. But I'm not a Nutritionist so what do I know?

If you've been reading, I haven't been posting my food as religiously as I did a few weeks ago. So I am going to start tracking my meals again, take more photos and share my clean eating intake. What I'm not going to do is count calories. I'm going to trust that if I eat clean and get my compulsive grazing under control, the weight will start to come off again. It's only 5 days, so it shouldn't be too painful? Right? We'll see.

Yesterday was a Manic Monday in every way. I didn't have time to take walks on my 15 minute breaks nor did I have time to do anything on my lunch break. It was one "urgent" email after the next. By the end of the day I was so ready to change into my workout clothes and get the heck out of the office!

Being out in the fresh air and getting a run in is one of the best ways to relieve stress...at least for me. Not only did it center me, but it gave me time to be alone with my thoughts and reflect. Everything about yesterday’s run felt different. There was a chill in the air that I normally don't like because it symbolizes the change in season. I didn’t mind it so much yesterday, however. I just took everything in and really appreciated the blueness of the sky and how green the trees were...everything looked more beautiful. I started thinking about the possibility of being diagnosed with an illness that I’ll have to fight and I realized that one day, I may not be able to run. That motivated me to push myself and keep going even after I got tired. I didn’t even use my C25K app, I just ran and left everything I had on the trail. I’m no Lo Lo Jones, but I can’t remember the last time I jogged 2 ½ miles without stopping.

It felt great. Even though it took me over half an hour, it was a huge accomplishment.

I’ve been thinking a lot about life and death and my own mortality lately. It’s not just about going for a run and appreciating the beauty that God made. I’ve also been very present with my family. I’ve been making a conscious effort not to argue with my mother. I’ve been enjoying every single second that I have with Travis…even when he woke up in the middle of my night time work out. I just turned off the DVD and stayed with him even after he fell asleep. As I sat there with him, I realized that I AM dying. We all are. From the moment we are born we are all waiting for God to call us back home. My grandmother lived until she was in her 80’s. My first born son only lived an hour after his birth. Both of their lives had meaning. We are all put here for a purpose. And regardless of whether we are given a diagnosis that comes with an expiration date or we are just going about our lives and something tragic happens, it will eventually be our time to leave what we think of as our home. It is my hope however, that we all try to live in the moment and appreciate everything that this temporary yet wonderful world has to offer. We should use tragedies to help us appreciate miracles. We should embrace the cold and darkness of the winter because with it is the promise of the warmth and newness of springtime.  I sat up for hours last night wondering…what if I returned to the doctor in December and found out that I am the picture of health? What if this scare was God’s way of getting my attention and drawing me closer to Him?

My prayer for everyone who may be reading this is that you live in the moment. Appreciate every aspect of your life, the good and the bad. Take time today to go outside, breath in fresh air, and marvel at the beauty that your Higher Power has created.

Make today your best day ever! And do at least one today thing that will improve your health.

Thanks for reading and may God bless you and keep you!

Always,

Blaque