I Should Have Never Gotten Out Of Bed!

Yesterday was just one of those days. Let's take it from the top, shall we?

6:30 am

When I took Travis to his school bus, his bus driver looked at me and said “Good morning Skinny Minnie!”…I literally had to stop myself from screaming! "Breathe!" I told myself. I realize that she was only trying to be nice and perhaps give me a compliment...but I AM NOT SKINNY! Actually, I got on the scale yesterday and found that I have gained weight. This fluctuating body of mine...SMH. I would much rather a person tell me that I am doing a good job or ask me what my fitness regimen is...anything except make specific and nonsensical comments about my body. I've written it before and I will write it again; words like "skinny" and "wasting away to nothing" annoy me. They feel invasive and also feel like smoke being blown up my ass! I'm not skinny! I never will be and I don't want to be. Yes, I've lost weight, a lot of it. But people need to stop being ridiculous with their non-compliments! Think before you speak, geesh!

 

11:30 am

I tried to do a run during my lunch break...emphasis on the word "tried". Eight minutes into it I felt my armband slipping so I attempted to tighten it. Well, instead, I ripped it and my cell phone fell to the ground. Now, my armband is unusable, my cell phone is cracked, and I was absolutely disgusted!I turned around and walked back to my job, kicking rocks the entire way! Aargh!!!

 

3:00 pm

From 2pm to 3pm I had a meeting in another building on campus. When I returned to my desk I saw that I had 9 missed calls and a ton of voice mails...never a good sign. The very first voice mail was a frantic message from my mother...no one showed up to get Travis off the school bus. What a surprise...no nurse...AGAIN! I was livid! So I ran to my car like a wild banshee because my 78 year old mother can't do anything with my 90 pound child. Not lift him out of his wheelchair, not take off his school clothes, not change his diaper...NOTHING. Thank goodness I didn't get pulled over by the police. I was doing every bit of 65 in a 45 the entire way home. If this keeps up, I am going to have to change Home Health Agencies, not that the next will be any better. These young ladies that are hired as personal care aids clearly do not want to work. Seriously, I need to write my Congressman. Caring for the elderly and disabled is one of the most important jobs a person can have. Paying some kid with no college degree minimum wage to come into a person's home unsupervised is a recipe for disaster. Trust me, I know. The stories I could tell...

 

In other news...my second day without any processed food went OK for most of the day. I brought with me to work: a pear, bananas, the grapes I didn't eat the day before, black beans with corn, jalapeno and rocotillo chile peppers (talk about yummy), and a salad I picked up from Trader Joe's. I had every intention of doing the right thing.

I polished off the black beans and corn before 9am. Weird breakfast choice, huh? I couldn't help it though. It smelled so good and tasted even better. I sauteed the peppers in a little olive oil. Then I added one can of black beans and one can of corn. I sprinkled a little south western seasoning over it and also added a spoonful of Smart Balance. It was absolutely delicious.

I snacked on a few grapes and blueberries then had the salad before going out for my ill fated run.

All bets were off however once the craziness started to ensue. After I got home, I got Travis settled then called the agency to find out what the heck was going on. Bottom line: they are sending out yet another aid tomorrow! At that point, I was on the highest level of pisstivity...off the charts pissed actually. So I did something that I now regret...I ordered a pizza. That's right, a non-vegan, uber fattening pizza! I really should not have done that! Lucky for me a friend stopped by and I was able to unload half off it on him.

Tomorrow, as I always say is another day. If God says so, I'll have another chance to do better!

I hope your day went better than mine. Tell me about it. Good, bad or ugly, I'm all ears...well, eyes!

Always,

Blaque

"Your Face Is So Thin!"

So my son went back to school yesterday.

 

 

Happy 1st day of school Travis!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He has the same bus driver as last year. When she saw me, the first thing she said was "Your face is so thin!"

 

BIG SIGH!

 

I mustered up a half-hearted "Thank you." But I am so over people telling me how thin my face is. I mean, I get it. My face is super thin these days. I've lost over 80 pounds; it's supposed to be thin. If I had my old face with my new body, I'd look like I had a profound and incurable case of the mumps.

 

 

 

 

But with so many people commenting on my face specifically, it's starting to feel like insults. I can't control where the weight comes off or how thin my face is getting. I'm at my lowest weight since my 20's, so I understand that most people aren't use to seeing me look this way. But the fact is, I am still considered over weight. If people are freaking out now, what will happen when I lose another 20 or so pounds?

 

I believe that most people mean well, but I can't help but wish that they would choose their words more carefully. I wish that they would consider that by commenting on a person's weight loss or weight gain they may be contributing to that person's body image issues. I realize that we live in a looks-based and diet obsessed society, so at the first sign of a friend, family member of co-worker losing weight or changing their appearance, the curiosity of others is piqued. But for me, a person who has struggled with weight and food and my body, comments about my appearance feels incredibly intrusive.

 

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone handed out compliments for things OTHER than someone's appearance? Tell me that I am a good mother. Compliment me on my good deeds or for teaching someone something new. In fact, that's my challenge for anyone reading this. Compliment someone today for what he or she does or for who he or she is. Then come back and share it with me.

Looks change, but a person's heart, soul and character is ultimately what's all important.

 

Moving on...I was so anxious about getting my son off to school that I left the house without my lunch. So I had to visit my old pal the snack machine while I was at work. However, I tried to be thoughtful and make the healthiest choices possible.

 

I had protein shake before I left the house. Then later had a bag of trail mix (270 calories), 2 fiber one bars (140 calories each). I had some green tea. And I also had some Vanilla Crème muscle milk that I keep in my desk. (170 calories and 20g of protein). Muscle milk is super tasty and very convenient for work or to drink after a workout. For dinner I had a Smart Ones meal. It was the Creamy Pasta Romano with Spinach. (230 calories). I try to stay away from a lot of processed foods, but I keep them in the freezer and try to only have them once a week or so.

 

On my two 15 minute breaks, I took a walk around the perimeter of our campus.

 

 

 

Getting away from my desk and breathing fresh air during the day is one of the things I am going to miss the most about the end of summer. When the cold weather sets in, I won't be able to get out and walk or jog. I really love being out doors and taking in the beauty of my surroundings. I am going to take advantage of what's left of the nice conditions and get out as much as possible.

 

Before I went to bed I completed Level 1 Day 5 of Ripped In 30. I went back to using 5 lb weights and I think I will complete one more day with 5 lb weights before moving on to Level 2. I actually had more energy last night than I had while doing the first four days. Maybe it was because I didn't have a morning or midday workout like on some of the other days or maybe the carbs I had at dinner gave me a little more energy. I don't know, but it sure felt good to focus on the routine as opposed to watching the clock to see when it will be over.

 

If you're a parent, I hope your child had a great first day back at school!

 

And don't forget to compliment and share!

 

Always,

 

Blaque