Hiding Inside My Fat Girl Sweater

“Hey Skinny Minnie!”

“Wow, your face is so thin!”

“Yolanda, you’re wasting away to nothing!”

Someone, please make it stop! First of all I AM NOT SKINNY nor am I wasting away to nothing. Hardly! Skinny is a body type I will never find myself in. That’s not self-deprecation, that’s an honest assessment of my body. When I came home from Boot Camp at the age of 21 years old, I was 125 pounds but I was not skinny. I always have been and always will be a thick person and I don’t have a problem with that. But these weight loss comments/compliments are over-whelming and pressure educing. Every time my mother looks at me she says I need to eat more and that my face is too thin. People at work all want me to give them some magic secret they believe I have for weight loss. I’ve started keeping this big, bulky fashion disaster of a sweater with me so that I can wear it as camouflage whenever I leave my desk. 

I really wish I could take a 2 to 3 month vacation (paid vacation, that is), finish losing this weight in private, then come back as if nothing had happened. It’s hard. Having body image issues is hard. And I'm an introvert by nature. Having all of this unwanted attention regarding my weight loss and body is quite uncomfortable. But I can’t let all these crazy emotions derail me from my destination. 135…I won’t stop until I reach 135 pounds!

Yesterday's run felt really good. I did Week 5 Day 1 of C25K and for the first time since I've been using this app, I got lost in the run. I was actually enjoying the feeling of running instead of praying that the interval would soon be over. Today's workout started with a 5 minute warm up followed by 5 minutes of running and 3 minutes of walking. It repeated three times before ending with a 5 minute cool down. I felt great. I felt strong. I did a total of 2.30 miles, plus I walked another mile back to my vehicle. Yay me!

Last night after I put Travis to bed, I did Level 2 Day 3 of Ripped In 30. Again, it’s getting a little better but I’m not even close to keeping up with the women on the video. I try to focus on technique as opposed to doing as many reps…hopefully by the end of this level I will be able to do both.

I’ve really been enjoying my workouts lately. The comments from others about my weight loss? Not so much!

Tell me, do you get rattled by comments about your weight and/or weight loss? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Thanks for reading.


Always,


Blaque

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